Thursday, October 7, 2010
Annoying words with the letter C
In honor of F* You Friday, I thought I would make a small list of misnomers that start with the letter C and are irritating.
Cleansing: It sounds so neat, clean, and pleasant. In reality it is actually a form of starvation and torture. Not cool man. It should be called colon blow or rotorooter or something more appropriate. Of course, no one would do it if it was descriptive.
Constructive Criticism: Nobody likes to be told what they are doing wrong. It's true. People like to be told what they are not doing wrong. Calling criticism "constructive" does not make it any better. Telling someone that they are annoying is going to hurt their feelings if you precurse it with "hey, here's something constructive to ruin your day" or not. Even worse is the fake apology followed by constructive criticism. It often goes like this:
"Hey, I'm sorry I was a total tool when I freaked out for no reason the other day."
"Umm, ok. We were all tired. Stuff like that happens."
"Then I was thinking to myself, why did I react that way."
"Because you were really tired?"
"I realized it's because I actually don't like you or how you work in general. So it's really your fault that I flipped my shit. I thought I should give you some 'constructive criticism' because I would really want someone to tell me if I was in this situation."
"I'm really only telling you this "because I like you" and I don't want other people to get mad at you."
"So, good luck on that interview."
As you can tell, this "apology" accomplishes many goals. Not only is the victim freaked out that everyone hates them, they are no longer completely uncomfortable at work and are probably going to be totally useless for the rest of the day, but you have also deflated their confidence going into a job interview thereby opening the position up to the person you are rooting for.
Not that this has ever happened to me. I'm sure that all the times I have had this conversation, the people have had nothing but my best interests at heart.
Cat Emory Board: This device is actually the most effective cat deterrent device that I've ever seen. Instead of dreams that I would never have to trim my cats claws again as they happy file their point claws down, I have a way to keep cats away from any specific point in my house. On a side note, the puppy does think it's an awesome chew toy, so it isn't a complete loss.